I need to confess something…

My years as an Android dev and in DevRel weren’t really me.
It was the small mouse that lives on my head.

He’s been writing the code, giving the talks, building the community.

I was just the vessel

#DevHumor #AndroidDev #confession

Just to be on record:
I honestly didn’t expect that even non-YAML code ( @nuke build – yeah, I’m talking to you...) would require just as many fucking never-ending commits.
Azure DevOps has proven me wrong. (lol)

The real pain point?
No local test run
No Run pipeline locally
Zero feedback until you PR, merge, and let it rip on main

So yeah, we’re basically testing on the main branch. In production. In 2025.
For everything else, there’s: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, I firmly believe that not only Carthage must be destroyed, but also:

- CI/CD with no local feedback loop
- “Works on my machine” excuses
_ YAML files that silently break on pasted tabs
- And every doc that starts with “just”

And yes — I really thought nuke build would make things better...
But after 24 hours of commits, checks, and trial-and-error, I’ve been proven otherwise (and I really wanted to make it work and local debugging is awesome — but it’s useless when the docs are a soggy mess and don’t reflect reality.)

#DevOps #AzureDevOps #YAML #NukeBuild #CI #CICD #MainBranchDrivenDevelopment
#WorksOnMyMachine #AgileStruggles #ModernDev #CarthagoDelendaEst #DevHumor
#BuildFail #DebuggingHell #LocalIsNotProd #SoftwareEngineering #DotNet #DevLife

Dear Gradle, Why So Stubborn?
Do I do something wrong?

Watching juniors try to set up a project and being greeted by cryptic stack traces like it's some kind of initiation ritual.

`Unsupported class file major version 61`
`invalid CEN header zip64 no access package`, ...

Java can compile code for older versions just fine.
It's literally designed for that.
Oh why, must Gradle behave like a bitter librarian who refuses to hand over a book unless I whisper the exact Dewey Decimal Code?
Every other Language will laugh again at java, seeing this.

Why is Gradle bound to a java version? And if Gradle knows it needs Java 11… why doesn't it just do this for me?
Like using `/usr/libexec/java_home -v 11` in background?

Is there a clean way to force Gradle into submission without adding another tool like SDKMAN or jabba or YunaBraska/gradle-java-fix or whatever the trendy painkiller of the week is?

That moment when your career flashes before your eyes

Coding isn’t just syntax—it’s creativity, problem-solving, and bringing ideas to life. It doesn’t have to be dull. It should be bold, exciting, and yours.

Wear it loud: https://summonthejson.com/products/coding-doesn-t-have-to-be-dull-retro-coder-shirt-premium-soft-fit-developer-shirt

"Will you write component tests with me?"
Forget "Will you marry me?" as this is the real question of commitment. A perfect mix of unit and E2E tests, proving microservices true behaviour. Because nothing says "forever" like solid test coverage.

https://martinfowler.com/articles/microservice-testing/#conclusion-summary
#CodingLove #TestingIsCaring #Microservices #ComponentTesting #UnitTests #E2ETests #DevHumor #TechRomance #CodeCoverage #QA #DevLife #coding #developer

Do we really need all these layers to manage and maintain? Sometimes a simple compass does the job better than a cloud-connected smartphone app. Let’s bring back more KISS and YAGNI principles to development. #SoftwareSimplicity #KISS #YAGNI #DevHumor #DeveloperExperience

People often ask me when @mastogram will become OpenSource. And when they hear my answer — "never" — their reactions are always amusing. First comes the inevitable "why?", followed by, sometimes, outright indignation: "That's not right!" I usually finish them off with a "joke" about introducing premium features.

The funniest part is that those advocating for open-source are almost always software developers — the very same people who go to work and get paid a nice salary for their efforts. And every time, a loud question pops into my head: why on earth should I write my code for free or stand around with a crypto-wallet in hand, begging for spare change?

It’s easy to play the office Che Guevara when your paycheck is guaranteed! To those “revolutionaries,” I have just one suggestion: quit your job and test your commitment to pure, unadulterated altruism. No hypocrisy allowed.

#OpenSourceDebate
#SoftwareDevelopment
#DevLife
#CodeEthics
#PremiumFeatures
#AltruismVsReality
#TechPhilosophy
#DevHumor
#WorkAndWorth
#OfficeCheGuevara
#notg

Why decorate a real tree when you can 'docker run' one? Meet XmasTree: blinking lights, zero cleanup, 100% festive geekery.

https://github.com/pointless-code/xmas-tree

ArrayListValuedHashMap - a strange dependency in the code - asked ChatGPT why I should use it. I love pairing with this “Guy” (GLaDOS personality) #codinglife #devhumor #Java #GLaDOS #ProgrammingPain #chatGPT

️
#sysadminhumor #devhumor

I have a new favorite development blog: TheDailyWTF.com

Boy is that a doozy of a story! #DevHumor #programming
The Inner JSON Effect