Your Autistic Life<p><strong>Alien 3: The Ultimate Cut, coming soon to a theater near you</strong></p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@tengyart?utm_content=creditCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Олег Мороз</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/white-angel-figurine-on-white-surface-MOGLsR9amt0?utm_content=creditCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Unsplash</a><p>The year is 1992. This year that saw the release of such seminal songs as Sir Mix-a-Lot’s <em>Baby Got Back</em> or Right Said Fred’s <em>I’m Too Sexy</em>. More importantly, this is the year that saw the release of the third installment in the <em>Alien</em> franchise, <em>Alien 3</em>.</p><p>Although <em>Alien</em> had been absolutely groundbreaking, and <em>Aliens</em> (the second movie in the franchise), while not as great as the first movie, was still interesting and had taken this franchise in new directions, <em>Alien 3</em> was an abysmal flop. It was so bad that even the movie’s director, David Fincher, disowned it.</p><p>In 2025, undaunted by the sheer turdity of the original cut, Robert Vance has taken upon himself to give moviegoers the movie they deserve. The Daily Isotope went to the premiere of <em>Alien 3: The Ultimate Cut</em>, and interviewed Vance ahead of the showing.</p><p>DI: What prompted you to beat this dead horse?</p><p>Vance: I felt Fincher was never given the opportunity to present the movie he wanted. Also, I needed money for a yacht. Come to think of it, the yacht was the main reason.</p><p>DI: How did the editing go?</p><p>Vance: The original cut had spent too much time on the xenomorph, character development, and the plot.</p><p>DI: So, what did you do?</p><p>Vance: I’ve cut a lot of the original material, and given the public what they wanted. <em>The Ultimate Cut</em> definitely won’t waste your time.</p> <p>After having seen the movie, The Daily Isotope can faithfully report that Vance has achieved his goal. Clocking at 35 seconds, this black and white, and silent movie will definitely not waste your time. However, if you are pressed for money, we do recommend waiting for streaming. You could also wait for it to be available on one of those services that are free but subject you to advertisements. The ratio of ads to movie might be irritating, however.</p><p></p><p><a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/alien/" target="_blank">#Alien</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/autisticwriters/" target="_blank">#AutisticWriters</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/movies/" target="_blank">#movies</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/satire/" target="_blank">#satire</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/thedailyisotope/" target="_blank">#TheDailyIsotope</a></p>