Avoid defining reality
https://infighting.org/tools-and-practices/avoid-defining-reality

This is a common pitfall in dysfunctional relationships and volunteer groups with low relational competencies.

«We define someone’s reality when we communicate to them that we know what they think or feel better than they do. When we define someone’s reality, we believe and act as though we’re mind readers, as though we’re the expert on their experience.»

Did anyone write about the #ReplyGuy problem in a #NonViolentCommunication framing? Surprising if not.

"NVC, however, fosters a level of moral development based on autonomy and interdependence, whereby we acknowledge responsibility for our own actions and are aware that our own well-being and that of others are one and the same."

O, ale tym się podzielę. Warsztaty Marshalla Rosenberga nt. non-violent communication.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7TONauJGfc

Oh hello!

My name is Melvin (they/them), #AuDHD, & I'm happy to be in a space populated by other neurodivergent folks .

I've had a muuuch higher success rate in harmonious relationships with other ND folks (& queer folks, which is the uniting factor of the other server I'm on).

I doubted the validity of my "membership" to both these groups for a long time (imposter syndrome, anyone?), but having that self-knowledge in the last few years has really helped me get my life set up in a somewhat manageable way -- e.g. finding covid-cautious, very quiet & non-judgmental folks to live with (they're both queer and #AuDHD! It's *not* perfect but it's SAFE) and making a new irl friendship back in February with yet another queer, AuDHD person, which has been so great; we met on OkCupid where I occasionally have a profile for the sole purpose of finding new friends (I hate dating and consider myself #GrayAce, but I DO really wanna find meaningful friendships that might still be around 10 years from now ) since it offers a heavy filtration system and the opportunity to discuss covid precautions BEFORE being physically near one another.

Some of my, hmm, most influential?... special interests in my life, whether active now or just formative, include:
- #SelfGrowth #Psychology (majored in it back in college 2.0) #MentalHeath #Meditation
- #Words #Language #Etymology
- #Communication #NonviolentCommunication
- making #Art, playing #Guitar #Uke & #Singing, or writing poetry for stimming & emotional processing
- #MindBody connection / growing to feel my body & emotions / #Fitness #Movement #FunctionalMovement #BodyMastery #AshtangaYoga achieving an unsupported #Handstand
- #Science #Logic #HistoryOfScience
- #Philosophy #Ethics #Ontology #Stoicism / living life by a #MoralCode
- #Systems #Data #Patterns #ComputerScience (current major, 1 semester left for associate's then on to online university for that BS!) #ProblemSolving #Engineering

A new 1 I hope lasts:
#QuadSkating

When someone is upset and telling me about a problem they have, my conditioning is to hear an implicit request to fix it. If I don’t catch myself, I’ll get anxious that I can’t and respond unhelpfully. Usually, of course, they just want someone to hear them out.

#NonviolentCommunication is an excellent practice for this. Sometimes I feel like an android saying something like, “it sounds like you are feeling upset that [thing you just said],” but no one ever seems to take it that way.

RT @MBR_Quotes@twitter.com

Never do anything that isn't play.

#NVC #NonviolentCommunication

: https://twitter.com/MBR_Quotes/status/1461415521425911810