the more I learn about Classical Chinese the more I am convinced that almost every translation into English of any Classical Chinese document at all is terrible and utterly destructive to the goal of conveying what it means
anyway, without dunking excessively on the incomprehensible translation that drove me to make my own, here's my translation of an anecdote from "说苑 (Garden of Stories)" about how to sass your superiors in ye olde warring states:
Zhao Jianzi raised an army to attack the State of Qi, ordering that objections were punishable by death. An armored knight named Gong Lu looked to Jianzi and burst out laughing. Jianzi asked: "Sir, why are you laughing?" The knight answered "I just remembered something funny." Jianzi said, "If you can explain yourself, I won't put you to death." Gong Lu explained: "During the mulberry harvest, the married couple next door to me went out to the fields. There they saw a woman among the mulberries. The husband chased after her, but did not catch her; when he turned back, his wife was so offended that she left him. I laughed because that's so self-defeating." Jianzi said: "I am attacking one state, and losing the one I have. It's self-defeating." He gave up the campaign and went home.
And remember, kids, excessively literal translations are marking a boat to find a sword. #translation #localization