I usually post in Polish but as I want to reach out to as many people as it is possible I'll post this message in English.

My question for today: Do you know any methods for me to learn how to love myself (I mean my personality, "good" traits, who I really am etc. I guess you get my point)?

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@robert_wolniak One of many possible answers, who knows which one you need. I don't, but since you're asking here's answer I find valuable.

Well, this is long overdue...
But here I come with my brilliant idea! 😄 Ask others what they think of you. Seriously. Pick some people that know you best and ask them. You'll most likely be able to look at yourself from others' perspective(s). If they manage to be honest you'll possibly learn new things about yourself and appreciate who you are more.

@teetotaller I ask them all the time so for me it isn't a new idea. That's just what I do all the time when I have some serious doubts about my personality.

I don't think you'll find my next idea enlightening either, however... My next approach would be to ask myself what I value in others and then compare this list with the things my close ones mentioned. It's only logical to appreciate in one's self what we appreciate in others.
Nothing new here, sorry. I'm no therapist... But I'd like you to feel better all the same.


here is what I am aware of (list non-exhaustive):

1. autohypnosis: aka "repeat to yourself" is known to work. the notation is typically a "mantra"

2. mastery: find something small and master it. e.g. playing pinball, billiards, mario kart.

3. change: sometimes you are something you don't want to be, and you hate that. for example, i was overweight in march, and i felt a lot of self hatred. so, i lost 35 pounds (about 15kg) and now i love myself more.

@fluffy I was also recommended autohypnosis :) As for mastery: welp... it's definitely harder as I'm getting bored easily with different things or games (after 1-2 weeks). As for changing: yup, I'm working on that.

Thanks for practical advice ;) I see that I can always count on Fedi!

@robert_wolniak perhaps this ADHD style changing of interests is what is behind it all? if so, then perhaps by pushing through it you will see breakthroughs in other areas

hard to say with so little information. autohypnosis is good. look up the exercises used by comedians for stage fright and the ones used by executives before going in front of a board. there are some proprietary coaching programs that include this information as well. in those practical examples, autohypnosis is used mostly for stress and terror but the principles are the same.

@fluffy Actually I have no stage fright and I'm not afraid of standing in front of a crowd (I'm an English teacher so duuh! :D)

@fluffy Yeah, I know :) I understand what you were going to say. This might be helpful actually.

@fluffy Thanks man!

Actually this post is quite old and I already made some progress. I started to focus more on myself and only myself. I won't fulfill anyone's vision of my person so I decided to stick to focusing on my personal needs.

If someone doesn't accept me for who I am then well... screw this person! I'm sick and tired of trying to always be good for others.

@robert_wolniak so, practically speaking, what does that mean? if I am reading this broke up with your gf?

@fluffy Nope. I actually never had one but I was trying my best to find one. Or at least find someone who I could call a close friend.

@robert_wolniak Forgive yourself. Go out and be nice to people. Be alone with Nature.

@robert_wolniak Caring about myself at all was the first step to loving myself. I had to stop seeking the things I thought would "fix" me (I'm talking about relationships, achievements. I still needed medication and therapy to get where I am now) and instead seek to evaluate myself honestly, admit to and own my faults, improve the parts of me I liked, and on the days when I couldn't find anything about myself to like, I would just try to do caring good things for other people.

@Celestia That's actually a great advice :) Thanks man!

I actually wrote this toot quite some time ago so I already started changing something in my life and it seems that I follow the same path as you. I try to focus on myself or some small group of people who actually like me who I am and for now... it pays off I guess ;)

@robert_wolniak That's awesome! I'm curious what prompted you to follow me? Was it the ponies? Lol

@Celestia To follow your advice or to follow you on Mastodon?

As for the first one: just coincidence :D but you're not the only person who gave me similar advice (still some of these people who advised me this were MLP fans - there must be something in it...)

And about following you on Mastodon: welp, that's one thing. Second one is your hobby - I also love MLP and tabletop RPGs! :D

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